In the last few weeks, I've found myself in the middle of several very complex negotiations. Getting something done in any negotiation requires leverage. But leverage is tricky. You need to have it to drive an outcome in your direction, but you want to be careful using it.

Brazenly using leverage can be effective, but it's somewhat distasteful, and can create bad blood / tarnish relationships. Leverage is also slippery and elusive. It may be that you have it, but sometimes it's not necessarily 100% clear, and things can change quickly.

Taking these two things together, I always find that it's wisest to try and understand what your leverage is, but also avoid wielding it too openly. Both because you may not actually have as much as you think, and if it turns out that you don't, you end up exposed as someone who's not afraid to use it.

But all that said: navigating real-time contentious situations is a good reminder that leverage is best built up over time, and planned ahead for as much as possible. That way, when it comes time you use it, you can a) be sure you actually have it and b) use what you have as modestly and comfortably as possible.

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